Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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