We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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