Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
