I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
