Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
