go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
