I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
honey bunches of taint.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i will never coherently bang her
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
