I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
