that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize