It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
