omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
