She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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