before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
