Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
