I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
