I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
