Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize