can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i think i just lost a toe
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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