Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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