I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You are a genius and a whore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
