I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
