He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
