Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
