I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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