They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
