i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
