why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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