i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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