Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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