He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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