Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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