and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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