Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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