My cat gives me a boner
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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