You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
