Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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