I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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