I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
