so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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