when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
