took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
