Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
