You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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