Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dont even know how to be here
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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