bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize