flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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