DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
