wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
