She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
