No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize