if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
