I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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