WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
