I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
