Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He did a backflip because drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
