I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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