i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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