Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
