There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
